Okasan!

So, for those who don't know about my Japanese mom, I have one.

I can proudly say that :p

Her name is Shigematsu Sayo. I used to call her Sayo-san, even though she insisted me to call her Sayo. But being a polite teenager I was, I simply can't. Haha. This happened when I went to Japan in 2006, which is already 6--almost 7 now--years ago! I went in the end of July, which is the start of summer in Japan. But I'm not here to tell you my trip in Japan, even though it was fantastic :3 

Well, the reason I brought her up in this post is that she emailed me! Just today, like hours ago. I am thrilled to hear from her again. She told me that she just failed a test for a qualified, national guide tour.. I feel sorry for her. I know she can do it! Maybe it's just not her time yet.. Anyway, she also wrote about her life in 2012.. And compared to hers, mine is... not that great. But at least I did some things, right? LOL.

I haven't write back to her.. Maybe I will in just a moment, or maybe tomorrow. I don't know..

She's so busy, actually she just replied my email from last year.. This is her first, and I believe her last, email of 2012 to me. I don't blame her, but I just kinda wish that she'd have more time to talk to me. But that is a lot to ask from a non-related girl claiming to be her Indonesian daughter, I guess.. Haha. 

So.. yeah.

And to fill the nights in this hollow holiday, I've been writing a small journal in French. Just to get me to get used to using French every now and then. So far I can't tell how I'm doing.. But hopefully, some time in 2013, I might be able to read back my writings and correct my wrongs :D

Well, I guess I should write to her ASAP..

Oh, and I am planning to go to France in summer 2014. And I'd better start saving money and finding job.. Because it costs A LOT. But I'm gonna do it! I don't want to be mediocre. I'm dying here, having a mediocre holiday. I guess mediocrity really isn't my cup of tea.

HELL YEAH

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I just got back from my friend's birthday dinner. It was fun, and almost reunion-like :D
I got to meet some of my friends from highschool whom I'd never woulda met if it weren't for this kinda thing..
This really brought back memories, reminded me of sweet seventeen birthday parties we went for almost every weekend, back in the 11th grade. lol.
Taking pictures with everyone, taking photos in the ladies' room.. Ah, so highschool! But we're like in our 20s now, so... yeah. HAHA. Well, whaddaya know, they say our maturity depends on with whom we are at that moment. 

So anyway, nothing much, just seeing people change. Some to a better, some just don't seem to change at all.. I'm kinda curious about what others thought when they saw me. Some say I look really thin compared to how I was in highschool.. Which is true. I lost about 8 kilos, lol. I'm trying to get more in shape this holiday. So that's the goal :D

Anyway, have a great Christmas, have a great year-end, and have a GLORIOUS year next year.

xoxo

Whatever

There was that one time, when my brother said to me that he had never felt like he was lost, wondering what's his purposes in life, et cetera. And I said the same to him at that time, too. Because I hadn't. But ever since he mentioned that, I've been thinking about it on and off for quite some time now. Never too hard though, just sometimes it seems to.. just came up. But anyway that's not really what I want to talk about in this post. I just feel like it's going to be a horrible holiday with nothing to do and no one to be with besides myself. And this is kinda like my last holiday for the rest of my life! Well, at least until I'm retired, but that's like 50 years ahead! So, yeah. And why is it going to suck, here's why:

1. None of my friends are available to go on a vacation with.

2. And those who in the area, are apparently too busy to go out with me.

3. Those who actually have time and want to go with me, I kinda don't want to go with.

4. I was going to go to Malaysia, but too many things came up, so.. maybe I should take a rain check and probably won't go there at all.

5. Because of something, I am a little upset with my friend, therefore, I am too lazy to meet her now.

6. I am single.

7. I have no job.

8. I have no school.


So, apparently, so sum it all up, this holiday seems like it's going to suck.
And I'm not complaining, I'm just stating the truth and the possibility of what might be a horrible holiday.

Losing Ground

The post title might have explained what's going on with me these days.
Yep, I think I'm losing ground.
I am lost.
I don't know how to do what I normally do.
I am talking significantly about designing promotions and packaging for my last project for exam.
I made some but the feeling I get is just not the feeling that I used to have.
The satisfaction is.. no longer there.
Is it just because I'm having a downhill at the moment?
Or is it permanent.............?
And this afternoon, I caught myself thinking, wondering,

"What would I do, if I can't design anymore?"

I mean, literally, WHAT would I DO?
I don't know how to do anything else..
Then if I don't have this, I might be what you can call 'no ability whatsoever'.
Argh.
I really hope this is a temporary bore, a temporary downhill..
Maybe after holiday, after refreshing for quite a bit.....

Because I can start losing faith in myself if this continues :'(

Webby Weebly

Hmm.. So, nothing much happened since my birthday. My friends sent me a yummy strawberry cheesecake tough :9 It's very delicious and very thoughtful of them :'D 

I've been really, really, and I mean, REALLY busy with my school work. Today I just finished a website portfolio, which is also a final exam project for Graphic Computer III, learning Flash and Dreamweaver.
I think I'm in love with Flash though. At first when you're not used to it, it's kinda hard and I really wouldn't know where to go to make something move like this like that blabla, and not to mention my lack of punctuality -_- I always got to class late.... On average, I got to class about 30 minutes late. On a really bad day, 45-50 minutes. And on a very good and early day, I got on time or about 5 minutes before - 5 minutes after 8 (8 o'clock is when the class starts). But I reaaally love flash :'3 Or I thought I am.. Until now that is.

So, I just wanna share my web here, and be done.
Because after this, hopefully I can be done today, I still got 3 projects to come and they're all big ones >.<
Thankfully one of them is handled in group, and may be worked by a handyman, because it is exhibition-related, so we're just doing the designs and the handymen do the rest. THANK GOD. BUT! Actually that project's deadline is the last one on the schedule... so.... yeah.

Okay, let's do the rest :')

www.feliciakarta.weebly.com

P.S. Please note that this website is made by an amateur (me), with a help from Youtube people, especially mcvdigital for giving me the flash of a scrollbar which I am desperate to learn to make, but NOT NOW. Thanks :D

It's my birthdayyy!

Today is my birthday :D 
And for some weird reason I can't stop smiling and jumping around.
I don't know what gives me this euforia, I just have it :3
Not much to say, just this year is kinda different.
Most of my best friends are out of town, the ones that are in town are actually busy.
And I don't really mind, actually.
I know life can be very busy, especially these days. So.. yeah. I'm cool with people forgetting my birthday. It's my choice not to put it on Facebook anyway :p
But I'm still glad those who I call 'friends' did remember :3
For those who don't, perhaps life's been hectic..

Anyway, I'm 21 now. Oops, not. I'm 19! Haha
Naah, I'm 21. As @laughbook said, I can now, legally, do the things that I have been doing illegally since I was 15 XD
Not that I've been doing illegally things, but it just feels good to have the LEGAL stamp on my forehead. Sort of.

And I do miss writing.
I miss writing soooo much, I just didn't realize it until a few days ago. Actually, yesterday. LOL.
But, considering my hectic lifestyle, I excused myself from vacuuming on writing.
But I think I'll try to write more. Some kind of a new year's resolution. So, by the end of my 21, I would have:

1. Write more.
I don't care what to write, nobody reads it anyway. I just need to write :p

2. Loss more weight
Okay, I know it's cliché, but hey, humans may plan.

3. Speak French fluently
Maintenant, je seulement parle Français un peu peu..

4. Do something unexpected

5. Et cetera :p

Today my schedule is very condensed too actually.
This morning I have a voice over recording for my Audiovisual class' last exam, then I had an assistance class, now, I'm waiting for my friends. We're going to a workshop to make a decoration for my exhibiton class' last exam. Later tonight, I have a french class! So yeaaa, very condensed. Oh btw, I got a different teacher this time, for my French class I mean. Now I'm in A2 level. I got Mr Eka. I like him. He's very funny and kind :D

AAA thank You God for blessing me with this amazing 21 years :D

Un Jour en Decembre

"A Day in December"
That what it means. The title, I mean. Just in case you're wondering.
Yes, today is a day in December, too.
But today is kinda special for me.

I've been busy throughout last month and it seems like it won't be done at least until December 20th. 
So, I took time to write, just because this IS December 2nd. And, again, today is a special day for me.
I thought of today, and how it would meant for anyone else besides me. Probably that date is their birthday, or maybe someone close died on that date. Perhaps loved ones are in labor, or maybe something terrible happens.. and the list goes on.
Then I wondered why today feels very special to me.
This is the day that God has given to me, not to be just an ordinary day, but a day where I'm closing my age, rounding it up to the next. Today is the day to reflect on what have I done since the last December 2nd. Yesterday I thought, well, there won't be much to write this year. But then I thought again. And it turned out I did quite significant things this year.

When I first started 20, I didn't know what I would do, what I would become. And saying that now, doesn't mean that I know NOW. I DON'T. But there are some things that I did, which I believe would lead me closer to what I'd achieve.

So, here goes the list.

1. Last year, only "bon appetite!" that came accross my mind when I heard someone speaking in French. Now, in French I could count to 100 and more, explaining why I did what I did, telling short anecdote about what I did (in the past), listening to people talking in French and understand 1/100 word. Not much I know, but it's like from zero to 20%..

2. I got a job interview. Nothing special about that, just some experience worthy for my next job interview ;)

3. Signing up to be a co-lecturer's assistant, in my campus, we call it "Student's Assistant".

4. Experiencing payday, though it really isn't much, but, hey, it's money.

5. Meet new people and kept the old ones posted.

These lists I made not to make myself a proud person, although I'm quite proud. But it's to motivate. To show that I may not know now, but that doesn't matter. Carpe diem, seize the day. Do what you can and do it NOW, or NEVER. A second later is a second too late. Grab every opportunity that lies ahead. I think that's the most amazing lesson I've learned throughout the year. And finally, I hope this reflections work.. because God knows I have a commitment issues.

Realist Much

What do youREALLYwant to be?

I remember tweeting about wanting to be an astronaut. I don't remember asking anyone back about it, but I got a quiet feedback from a few friends. One told me they want to be a flying attendant, and I actually don't remember the rest HAHA. But anyways, probably some of us have thought of that one dream job, that one thing that you always want to do, that one profession you always want to become. And those are usually the types of job that our parents--at least in my country--always cultivate in our minds. Those jobs are the exclusive ones, not that we, as a child, would notice. Those jobs are probably these, not in any sort of order:

- Pilot

- Astronaut

- Doctor

- Flying Attendant

- President

- Fashion Designer

- etc

I said exclusive, not impossible. Yes, there are people that actually doing it professionally (I'm having a hard time thinking anyone could ever be an astronaut for hobby, though) but it isn't easy. There's always that one thing that gets in your way, or it could be an accumulation of several things. For instance, personally, I can't possibly be an astronaut because I'm 20 and I live in this country where I'm sure there's no astronaut school and profession. To go somewhere that would have that kind of school, say U.S or Japan, I need to have money and language (Japan of course) and I simply have neither. I am 20 and I have no job. So, yeah. That friend of mine, who wants to be a flying attendant, she is physically able, she is tall and slim, I could definitely see her becoming what she wants to be, so I encouraged her. But she told me all this time she was wearing contact lens, and flying attendants should have healthy, normal eyes. Too bad for her too, I guess..

So, what I'm trying to say is, we are adults now. I don't mean being pessimistic, but I'm not sure too much optimism is useful either. Just be realistic, but hopeful. I mean, what's the good in waiting to become what you dream of? If you can actually realize it, that's great! But what if you're more like me and my friend? I say don't wait up all night, life is too long to wish, but to do, too short. So, I say just do what you able to do right now and what you love! I'm sure there's something else :) We're humans! We are a natural greed, one is never enough :p