Whatever

Is it one of the signs of growing up; people starting to forget your birthday and even you yourself having a hard time admitting that it gets to you?

I want to say that I am always a little mellow every December, not just because it's my birthday, the end of MY year, but also the end of everyone's year. This year though, feels more different than the years before.. I am actually about to finish my university years.. Next year will be my last battle in University life ! How bizzare is that? It felt as if it was just yesterday that I first stepped on that university to do a filtering test, and now I'm at my last semesters.. Damn, where did the time fly?

And about that birthday..
I know, it should be just those ones that matter. But as much as I hate to admit it, it does get to me.
I hate those people, those so called friends, that didn't remember my birthday. 
And I even hate the ones that I don't recall ever calling them 'a friend', that actually remembered to say happy birthday. I know this is weird and seemingly childish, but maybe I am not ready to grow up yet. Maybe I'm still just a kid.

And I don't know if it's a population of those people or maybe just one or two of them in particular that I'm angry at. But I really can't show them that I'm angry, they wouldn't know why and that would make me angrier. What a cycle.

I too don't know why I'm writing this post.
I guess I just...
Whatever.

Essayer?

Avant, jamais..
Jamais je pense qu'apprendre la langue française.
Mais en le dernièr mai, il y a un an depuis la première fois j'apprends le français :)
Alors, je pense d'écrire ce blog en français, juste pour l'essayer ;)

Evidemment, je n'écoute pas bien..
Je trouve qu'il est très compliqué pour capter les conversation quand la personne parle trop vite..
Est malheureusement, je n'ai pas le temps pour memorizer les vocabulaires..
Hmm j'aime écrire qu'écoute.. Comme cela, comme maintenant.
Je n'utilise pas le dictionnaire ou Google Translate, alors je suis désolée pour les faux :p

Ben..
Je voudrais aller à Campus France pour consulter le possibilité d'étudier en France.
Quelque jours avant, j'ai trouvé un bon université à Lyon: L'université Lumière Lyon 2.
Il a le programme de Master 2 Communication et Stratégie de Marque.. Est depuis ma class avec Monsieur Muchyar, je pense beaucoup de 'Branding' ou stratégie de marque.. alors je trouve ce programme interessant. Mais je n'ai pas le temps. J'espère que je peux le visiter bientôt, avant la fin de vacations..

Hmm, c'est tout pour maintenant :)
J'écris bientôt, au revoir !

Fine ;)

So I was sitting in my French class and the class was about to finish.

Monsieur Eka, mon prof, was about to distribute the attendance book to sign, when my eyes accidentally stumbled upon the cover of my new notebook.

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself."

And it hit me!

Yes, we are making our own life. The way we were born, the way we were raised, the way people treat us, the things that life gave or didn't give to us.. They shouldn't define who we are! We can still be whoever we want to be! Heck, we ARE who we WANT to be!

Have you ever thought about this?

When things get rough, when things force you to be angry, when life hands you a lemon, what do you do? How will you react? When temptations get in the way, will you surrender? When a chance pass by, will you go for it?

Well let me tell you this,

IT IS YOU.

It is you who responsible for your life.

After all, life is a choice. There's always a choice! And guess who took that choice? YES, it's you :)

Don't worry about the future, just live the way you live your life.. Occasionally, when faced by a tricky situation, ask yourself, "What would ______ do?"

*fill in the blanks with your name

I believe, as Andy Grammer said in his song, "You'll turn out fine!"

:D

Cheers~!

BROMO!

Akhir Juni kemaren, pas banget pas hari terakhir UAS, gw mulai sakit. Ternyata gw sakit campak jerman bro. Tulang sakit-sakit, sendi ngilu-ngilu, badan panas, meriang, sakit kepala dahsyat, gusi bengkak sampe sakit banget kalo makan.. Tapi untung uda hari terakhir UAS.. Tapi minggu depannya gw uda sign up buat ikut HUNBES (Hunting Besar) yang diadain sama PFT (perhimpunan fotografi tarumanagara). Biar jelas, PFT itu kumpulan mahasiswa UNTAR, semua jurusan, yang suka fotografi :D They really are a bunch of fun people! Tadinya gw juga ragu mau ikut apa nggaa.. Ini pertama kalinya gw ikut HUNBES. Jauh, kesannya mahal karena bayar 750.000.. Uda gitu gw juga baru pemulihan dari campak. Sampe nyokap nanya berulang-ulang, "Emang kamu masih mau pergi?" Dan salah satu temen baik gw, si Nerissa yang tadinya mau ikut mendadak ga bisa. Bos nya gak ngasih dia pergi. PAYAH! LEMBEK! Hahaha. Jadi cuma sama Tacia.. Tapi gw pikir, kapan lagi sih ngikut ginian.. Lagian uda mau lulus (kalau tepat waktu, amin!), KAPAN LAGI BRO. Jadi ya ikut-ikut aja deh. Dan gw sangat gak nyesel :D

Hari pertama -- 26 Juni 2013

Ngumpul jam 12an di Stasiun Senen. Kita naik KA Matarmaja jam 13.45 tujuan Malang.

Tacia gak tau Stasiun Senen di mana jadi dia ke rumah gw dulu dan kita bareng ke sana. Pas nyampe, sekitar jam 12an lebih, di sana uda cukup rame. Hampir semua uda dateng, dan ada beberapa orang yang gw gak kenal, karena namanya juga Hunbes, semua boleh ikut. Dan kali ini bahkan anak bukan PFT aja, anak yang bukan anak UNTAR aja ada yang ikut! Hahaha. Jadi kita nunggu dan akhirnya masuk ke peron dan naik ke kereta. First impression, keretanya dekil tapi ada colokan. HAHA. Yeah, peculiar, right? Ada colokannya bro.. Dan ACnya panas banget. Kayaknya rusak deh. Gw duduk di 18D, Tacia di 18B. Jadi dia dudukannya misah, E sama D sedangkan C B sama A. Jadi gw misah sama Tacia :') Itu uda males 1. Males-males berikutnya adalah om-om sebelah gw naikin kakinya ke kursi dan orang depan gw juga. Tapi yasudalah abis mau begimana lagi.. Dibetah-betahin aja deh. Si Tacia duduk di 18B sama Ricky  (anak PFT, uda kenal dari pas Wisuda 61), Wira (bukan PFT), Tjong (senior PFT), sama Angie, tapi Angie pindah kayaknya belakangan. Mereka juga duduk sama satu orang mahasiswa UI yang ternyata lagi otw ke lomba debat di univ mana gitu di Malang dan sekitarnya. Sepanjang perjalanan gw gak bisa tidur.. Panas banget dan bosennya gak nahan. Sempet kenalan dan ngobrol-ngobrol dikit sama Tjong dan Wira ama Ricky dan Tacia, tapi duduknya rada jauh jadi susah juga gw kalo mo ngobrol sama mereka berempat :'D Gw sempet  ngobrol dikit juga sama ibu-ibu yang didepan gw. Dia kasi tau nanti sebelom Malang ada 2 terowongan. Oya, om-om di samping gw tuh suka beberapa jam sekali tuh keluar dari kursinya buat ngerokok. Lumayan jadi gw bisa nyenderan ke tas dan stretching sekalinya sekitar setengah jam :p 

Hari Kedua -- 27 Juni 2013

Terus akhirnya si ibu dan anaknya turun dan gw duduk sendirian, jadi Ricky sama Tacia pindah ke tempat gw. Lumayan juga buat stretching haha. Terus gw ngecas deh! Akhirnyaaaa, sekitar jam 8 pagi sampe juga di Malang.. Dengan badan lengket dan tulang pantat dan punggung sakit-sakit, akhirnya sampeeeee. Abis itu makan di stasiun Malang. Gw sama Tacia misah buat makan indomie di tempat yang bisa duduknya enak :p Terus abis itu kita naik mobil elf gitu buat ke gunung daerah Bromo nya. Tapi kita semua ga tau kalo mau ke air terjun dulu -_- Jadi semua pada pake celana panjang... Jalanan ke air terjun juga jauh banget. Sekitar 3 jam kali.. Jalan dulu keluar dari Malang ke Pasuruan situ dan terus dikit lagi abis itu naik gunung. Gw kebanyakan tidur sih. Tapi tetep rasanya lamaaa. Mobilnya juga gak berAC -_- untung gak sampe masuk angin.. Gw semobil sama Tacia, Aaron, Yali, Ariel, Morris, Gio, Webe, Angie, Adri Homo, sama satu lagi gw lupa namanya haha. Barang gw sama Tacia uda ga muat di situ jadi titip di mobil oren, mobil gw silver, dan satu mobil lagi pink. Setelah 3 jam perjalanan kayaknya deh, akhirnya sampe juga di air terjun. Nama tempatnya apa gw gatau haha.

Pokoknya di sana kita nyebrang beberapa sungai, 6 sih kata Bapak-bapak yang bantuinnya. Tapi gatau kayaknya kok banyak banget -_- pertama-tama rasanya enak, stretching, adem, kena air2 gitu setelah ga mandi semaleman. Tapi ternyata buat nyampe ke air terjunnya tuh jauuh men, sekitar 1 jam jalan kaki ada kali. Mana abis itu mesti balik lagi melalui jalan yang sama...... Hahah. Yaudalah dijalanin aja abis itu. Sampe di depan air terjun, ada yang nawarin jas hujan, katanya pasti kuyup kalo gak pake jas ujan.. Ada beberapa yang ga mau masuk, cuma nunggu di depan aja. Tapi gw sama Tacia mikir tanggung lah. Masuk aja. Yauda kita beli jas ujan terus masuk deh. Bener loh. Kuyup. Bahkan uda pake jas ujan aja masih kuyup hahaha. Air terjunnya tinggii banget dari atas.. Perkiraan gw sekitar 100 meter ada kali.. Bagus sih, cuma gak bisa foto banyak kali karena basah.. Jadi gw juga cuma foto dikit. Capek juga sih jalannya.. Oya pas lagi nyebrang beberapa sungai terakhir pas balik si Tacia jatoh dong. Tas kameranya nyemplung juga, untung kameranya ga kenapa-napa.. Gw juga sempet nyangkut kakinya masuk ke antara batu. Sakit sih tapi untung ga kenapa-napa juga :D Terus abis foto-foto bentar, kita jalan balik. Itu celana gw yang paling tebel lagi.. Berat banget lama-lama karena basahnya uda naik sampe paha.. Jadi sampe ke mobil gw ambil celana dulu deh buat ganti. Setelah itu kita pun jalan ke penginapan.

Penginapannya ada di desa Cemaralawang, kecamatan Ngadisari. Kita istirahat dulu, bagi ranjang terus makan. Ada 3 rumah yang kita pake. Satu buat panitia, dua campur. Karena banyakan cowok jadi tidurnya juga nyampur aja deh. Gw serumah itu ada gw, Tacia, Dipta, Ricky (yang mirip Vaness Wu), Adri Chubby, Wichi sama Wiwi (kakak adek), Gio, Morris, Icha, Regita, Sasa sama cowoknya, sama satu cowok lagi gw lupa namanya. Gw tidur di kamar paling depan pintu sama Tacia, Dipta, sama Ricky Vaness. Terus belakangan Ricky Hu dateng bagiin makanan. Itu sekitar jam 2 siang. Abis itu kalo ga salah inget cuma istirahat doang karena emang capek banget, tapi ada juga yang jalan-jalan muter desa. Malemnya mandi terus ngumpul buat makan dan briefing untuk ke penanjakan. Jam 2 pagi kita disuruh kumpul dan uda naik mobil. Terus sekitar jam 10an kita tidur deh.

Hari Ketiga -- 28 Juni 2013

Papi ultah! Jadi gw bbm dlu deh ke papi. *intermezzo wkwk*

Jam 2 kurang gw baru bangun HAHA. Kita langsung ganti baju setebel mungkin dan naik ke mobil Hardtop, Toyota Landcruiser. Gw masuk ke kelompoknya Hansen, bareng Tacia, Wira, Angie, Adri Homo. Tapi pas pergi si Wira ikut mobil lain dan di mobil gw ada Webe. Naik ke penanjakan cukup jauh. Terus jalanannya maksimal -_- Goncang-goncang gimana gt. Haha. Untung pas gw mulai mual tuh uda mau sampe. Setelah itu kita jalan nanjak. Cukup lumayan karena dingin banget juga. Nusuk idung dan tenggorokan :( Gw ga bisa napas.. Jauh banget sih gak, tapi karena dingin jadi susah juga.. Dinginnya sampe keluar uap dari mulut kalo ngomong sama napas. Haha. Jadi gw pake masker biar idungnya anget :'3 Sampe di spot fotonya, gw langsung tag

tempat di paling depan, di atas pager. Gw ga bawa tripod jadi Omar ngasih ide buat naro kamera di tiang pager yang kebetulan atasnya rata. Jadi gw taro di situ dan sempet moto-moto pake 30 detik diafragma 1/22 itu. Lumayan sih dapet gunungnya pas masih gelap hehe. Cukup lama kita nunggu sunrise, cuma karena spot gw uda oke buat moto gunung gw males ke sunrise. Lagian berawan bro. Sunrisenya ga keliatan banget. Cuma awal-awal awannya bagus. Kayak tornado bentuknya hahaha. Cukup lama di sana sampe jam 6 apa 7an ya kayaknya. Abis itu kita cabut lagi ke Kawah. Itu gw uda mual banget tuh. Tapi di kawah ujan, jadi kita ga jadi ke kawah dulu. Gw pindah ke tempat Hansen di depan. Lompat dari kursi belakang saking uda eneg banget. Terus gw tidur deh. LOL. Bangun-bangun sampe di sebuah padang rumput yang luas banget. Dan DINGIN!

Masih ujan dikit-dikit, dan tadinya gw ga mau kuar. Meski uda ga eneg tapi lumayan juga kan dingin gitu.. Lagian basah :p Tapi Tacia ngajakin turun ajaa, jadi gw tacu. Gak lama sih ujannya berhenti. Bagus banget tempatnyaaaa.. Kita foto-foto cuma gw ga naik ke bukitnya. Males ah jauh hahahaha. Sempet makan bapau juga.. Abis itu kita foto keluarga dan lanjut ke Pasir Berbisik. 

Di Pasir Berbisik, banyak pasir. Hahaha. Kalo yang awal itu ladang rumput, ini ladang pasir! Luaaaasss banget dan cuma ada pasir item dan batu-batu gede yang bisa dinaikin. Itu sekitar jam 10. Kita aja sampe bingung kok rasanya uda lama, kirain mah uda jam 3 sore.. Taunya masih jam 10. Tapi abis itu kita ga bisa lagi ke kawah.. Karena katanya bakal dikenain biaya lagi, soalnya maksimal jam 11 uda sampe kawah. 

Sedangkan jalan ke kawah ya lumayan juga.. Jadi kita memutuskan balik dulu ke penginapan. Di situ kita istirahat dan jalan-jalan. Sebelom makan siang gw tidur dulu, jam 2an gw bangun, si Tacia lagi tidur. Abis itu gw makan dan nonton TV sama Ricky Vaness. Iya, di kamar kita entah kenapa ada TV.....

Mataharinya lagi lumayan panas jadi kita berinisiatif untuk jemur celana yang basah dari air terjun di atas atep :p Tapi abis itu bosen juga.. Jadi pas si Adri Chubby dkk ngajakin jalan-jalan ya gw ikut aja deh, si Ricky juga. Itu juga uda rada sore sih. Jam 4 apa 5 ya kayaknya. Jalannya si Ricky cepet banget -_- semangat 45 dia. Lebih girang jalannya daripada motonya hahaha. Oya, saat itu karena ga ngapa2in, beberapa anak juga ikut buat ke penanjakan II, nyewa motor. 75 ribu per 2 jam ya kayaknya.. Dipta akhirnya ikut, dia ngajakin ikut ga gw, gw ga mau ah. Takut masuk angin naik motor hahaha. Pas kita lagi foto-foto pemandangan pasir berbisik, mereka yang naik motor lewat. Si Ko Dicky dkk ikutan kita foto-foto juga sebentar. Abis itu kita balik dan ngantri buat mandi. Tacia belom bangun juga dong hahahaha. Akhirnya jam 7 gw bangunin sampe bangun. Kita nyantai-nyantai sambil nonton TV rame-rame sampe waktunya makan malem di rumah yang satunya lagi. Rumah kita itu masuk di belokkan, rumah cowok2 itu di hook, dan sebelahnya rumah panitia. Kita makan di rumah yang hook. Di situ sampe malem kita main Eat Bulaga dong wkwk.

Bagi orang-orang kayak gw yang jarang TVan apalagi acara TV Indo, Eat Bulaga itu kayak kuis buat anak-anak SD. Satu tim ada dua anak. Anak satu dikasi helm dan dihelm nya ada tulisan sebuah kata. Katanya apa aja, dan harus ditebak sama si pemakai helm. Anak dua fungsinya jawabin pertanyaan si anak helm. Anak helm boleh nanya apa aja dan si anak dua jawabnya cuma boleh "Ya", "Tidak", atau "Bisa jadi". Di suatu kali ada dua pasang anak yang kocak banget. Yang helm an nyantai dan lugu sedangkan si anak dua jawabnya super ga nyantai. Gw juga baru tau acara ini dari mereka hahahaha. Tapi sejujurnya menurut gw karena mereka gituin jadi lebih lucu.. Sebenernya emang rada lucu, tapi ga selucu dan sekocak ini lol. Apalagi si Aaron sama Arya. Kocaknya maksimal hahaha. Jam 10an kita pun udahan karena jam 5 nanti mesti bangun buat ke kawah. Iya, akhirnya meski bayar nambah kita memutuskan buat tetep ikut ke kawah. Sayang soalnya. Tapi beberapa anak mau stargazing. Pake tripod, dan peralatan lainnya gitu. Cuma karena gw ga bawa dan jalannya males lagi, jauh, jadi gw ga ikut. Yang pergi juga cuma beberapa sih. Pas gw uda siap2 mo tidur, sekitar jam 11an, si Adri Chubby sama Wichie ngajakin di depan aja. Icha sama Gita juga ikut. Yauda deh gw sama Tacia juga ngikut. Dingin-dingin hahaha. Cukup lama juga kita motoin bintang. Di sana bintangnya keliatan bangettt. Indah coyyy. Terus skitar jam 12, pas kita masih moto, tiba-tiba mati lampu se desa. Gelap banget bro hahaha. Jadi lebih bagus lagi moto bintangnya :p Belakangan muncul Wira sama Ko Dicky. Mereka hasilnya bagus banget di atas sanaaaa. Iri :p Tapi mereka emang jago sih. Gw kan baru pemula :$ Balik ke rumah, si Icha ga mau tidur karena ada laba-laba gentayangan di kamarnya hahaha. Entah kenapa banyak laba-laba :/ Tapi gw sih uda cape banget jadi gw tidur aja. Sambil didongengin si Adri. Dia cerita serem hahaha.

Hari Keempat -- 29 Juni 2013

Jam 5 gw dibangunin Wiwi.. Dia bilang gw tidur kayak ga napas. Muka ditutupin semua sama jaket.. Abis idung gw dingin banget men.. Sampe sakit tenggorokan karena anginnya nusuk banget.. Itu uda mendingan tuh karena gw tutupin idung pake 2 jaket hahaha. Gw bangun dan sikat gigi. Di depan gw ketemu Webe, dia suruh cepetan siap-siap. Tapi si Ricky Vaness sama Dipta katanya baru balik dari Stargazing jam 3 apa jam 4. Baru tidur 1 jam an gitu. Jadi kayaknya ga mau ikut ke kawah. Webe bilang yauda tinggal aja, yg ga mau ikut gapapa kok. Yauda gw bilangin gitu. Si Ricky kayaknya ga mau ikut. Dipta juga. Tacia juga masih tidur.. Jadi gw mulai merasa apa gw juga ga ikut aja yahh. Belakangan si Aaron nongol di pintu, dia mau nanya siapa aja yang ga mau ikut. Gw bilang gw juga ga ikut deh. Tapi Aaron bilang kalo ke Bromo belom ke kawah mah... belom ke Bromo namanya! Terus si Dipta bangun tiba-tiba dan bilang gw ikut deh. Gw juga langsung yauda deh gw ikut hahaha. Terus si Ricky bangun juga, dia bilang kalo dia cuma sendirian mah dia ga mau juga. Jadi dia juga ngikut. Gw langsung bangunin Tacia buat ngikut aja. Uda tanggung juga soalnya kan. Lagi-lagi kita naik Hardtop. Gw semobil kali ini sama Tacia, Huni, Josu, Sasa sama cowoknya, sama Afung. Di sana kita jalan pelan-pelan. Jauh juga ya dan capeeee. Banyak sih yang nawarin kuda, tapi males ah gw. Lagian tak bawa dompet :p Gw cuma bawa tas kamera kali ini. Males bawa ransel. Yauda deh kita nanjak pelan-pelan sampe ketemu tangga. Tiap cape berenti dulu foto.. rasanya kayak ke refresh hahaha. Lanjut lagi.. Terus naik tangga deh. Meski tinggi, tapi tangga ini masih gada apa-apa dibanding tangga yang gw naikin di Batu Caves, Malaysia :p

Abis nyampe di atas mulai kita foto-foto kawah dan selca. Lumayan lama tuh foto-fotonya.. Uda jam 8 apa 9an sampe kita liat Baron jalan ke tempat yang rada curam gitu.. Rada serem sih tapi gw mau cobaa. Pertamanya serem juga karena tinggi dan sampe ga bisa gerak. Jadi gw balik. Belakangan si Ariel ke sana juga.. Gw makin penasaran... Akhirnya gw nyusul dan foto juga. Belakangan smua juga pada ngikut. Tacia, Arya, terus gantian. Gw balik dan jagain tas mereka. Mereka naik. Mereka naik jauh banget.. Gw sama Tacia tertarik ngikut. Pas Omar balik, kita bawain tas mereka semua deh akhirnya. Jadi kita naik sampe atas. Ada Webe, Wira, Nadya,  Erik, Afung, Omar, Ariel, Baron, Hunnie, lumayan rame sih.. Terus sampe rada atas, Webe, gw sama Tacia uda ga berani. Lagian Baron bilang di atas biasa aja jadi ga jadi naik :p

Terus setelah foto rame-rame, kita memutuskan buat perosotan ke bawah karena Ariel bilang enak. Dan Webe juga tadi uda sempet perosotan ke bawah terus naik lagi hahaha. Yauda deh kita semua perosotan di gunung pasir ke bawah.. Sumpeh bro kapan lagi kayak gitu.. Pergi sama siapa lagi yang mau merosot di gunung pasir sampe bawah... hahahhaa. Seru banget. Terus pas si Wira lagi bersihin celana dari pasir, dia baru sadar kalo celananya robek.. Ternyata celana gw juga robek dong.. Nadya juga.. Hiks. Hahaha. Untung ada Aaron yang memprovokasi kita buat ikut. Kalo ga nyesel seumur hidup!! Hunnie juga tadinya uda ga mau ikut.. Rada kurang enak badan. Tapi tanggung juga. Dan dia bilang dia juga bakal nyesel banget kalo sampe gak ikut jadinya :p

Tapi karena uda lama banget di sana kita mesti buruan balik.. Tadinya si Tacia Hunnie ngajakin naik kuda biar cepet dan ga cape. Tapi gw males ah.. Ga bawa dompet hahaha. Jadi akhirnya kita pada jalan. Belakangan si Webe sama Baron ternyata naik kuda dong -_- Pake trik kecapean, dapet deh kuda dengan 20rb hahaha. Yauda abis itu kita balik bareng. Tapi ternyata kunci satu rumah itu ada yang di bawa sama Erik.. Jadi mereka yang uda sampe duluan pada ga bisa mandi.. Jadi rada ga enak sih.. Tapi bagaimana.......

Yauda tuh kita buruan beres-beres.. Tapi antrian mandinya panjang banget.. Jadi gw sama Tacia ngeliling buat nyari siapa tau ada yang kamar mandinya bisa disewa. Terus gw liat samping rumah kita.. Ada gang kecil gitu kan. Penasaran, gw pun masuk sama Tacia. EEEHH. Nemu kamar mandi lagi dong di belakang!! Karena takut ga boleh dipake, kita nanya ke ibu-ibu di depan yang lagi nakerin beras ke plastik satu2.. Dia bilang boleh kok itu sama masih rumah yang itu juga. Yauda deh gw sama Tacia mandi di sana. Sayangnya ga ada air panas bro. Jadi dingin superrrrrrrr. Kayaknya air ini sama air yang dulu di Cuntel masih dinginan di sini deh.. Sampe menggigil mandinyaaa... Pas airnya disirem di badan doang sih. Pas ga berair sih ga dingin. Hehe. Setelah gw mandi, Tacia mandi. Terus Wichie juga males nunggu mandi air panas, jadi dia juga ngikut mandi sana. Lumayan lah mempercepat. Hehe. Abis itu kita dibagiin makanan. Terus karena uda telat kita cepet-cepet beres2 dan masukin barang di mobil. Mobilnya sama kyk kemaren, oren, silver, sama pink. Gw dan Tacia juga naro barang di mobil yang kemaren, mobil oren. Beberapa juga ada yang nitip di mobil pink, karena emang uda ga muat.. Yauda deh kita jalan. Gw duduk di depan banget sama istrinya si supir. Kita ngobrol dikit-dikit hehe. Sayangnya gw ga kepikiran minta nomer telponnya.. Siapa tau lain kali mo balik kan.. Sayang sekali :') Dan belakangan juga gw merasa makin sayang kenapa ga minta *nanti dijelaskan*

Perjalanan cukup lama.. Jam 4 keretanya. Gawat banget uda serem ketinggalan. Itu mobil oren di depan kita dan kita juga ngebutnya uda ga kira-kira. Hampir nabrak 2 apa 3 kali ada kali... Tapi yaaaaa, kalo ga kayak gitu ya ketinggalan.. Sampe di stasiun Malang tuh uda jam 4 kurang 10 menit.. Tapi yang nyampe baru mobil oren sama silver doang.. Akhirnya mobil pink ketinggalan :'( Akhirnya setelah perjuangan dan perbincangan mereka memutuskan buat chater mobil dan extend ke Semarang. Sekarang mereka mungkin masih di sana atau bagaimana gw juga gatau :) Tapi yang penting semua baik-baik aja.. Tapi untung yang ketinggalan itu emang orang-orang yang gak LEMBEK hahaha. Beberapa temen yang nitip barang di mobil pink juga ga enak karena mau ga mau barangnya dibawain deh sama temen-temen mobil pink.. Ada Fre, Baron, Josu, KP (yang bukan anak UNTAR haha), Ko Dicky, Ricky Vaness.. Oya, si Hansen juga ga pulang lho, dia lanjut ke Flores.. Ckck seru banget..

Gw duduk di gerbong yang sama, yaitu gerbong 3. Keretanya sama masih, Matarmaja. Gw duduk di 20D. Tacia 20A, ada Wira juga. Belakangan ada Erik. Kita duduk berempat dulu karena kereta kali ini rada sepi. Tapi itu PHP banget. Ternyata bakal banyak yang masuk lagi di stasiun berikutnya :') Gw sempet ngobrol2 sama Wira sama Erik dan gw baru tau dan sadar kalau Erik itu adiknya Ariel...... Pas hari pertama di Stasiun Senen sih si Tacia juga sempet bilang, "Eh Ef, itu kembar ya berdua?" Gw kan awal juga ga gt kenal, meski uda fren di BB karena mereka sempet panitia wisuda juga. Gw bilang kaga ah.. Masa sih. Kayaknya gak. Hahaha. Ternyata emang ga kembar tapi adik kakak! Terus pas Ariel nyamperin gerbong kita gw juga liat lagi. Take a long good look. Iya yaaa ternyata miripppp. hahaha. Belakangan Hunnie samperin kita dan ajakin pindah gerbong. Karena kan tempat temen-temen yang ketinggalan juga kosong.. Sayang dprd kita sendirian di gerbong ini dan di sana kosong2 gitu mending pindah. Jadi abis karcis dibolongin sama kondektur, kita pun pindah. Awalnya bingung juga mau duduk mana karena lumayan rame.. Jadi setelah taro tas kita makan dulu di gerbong makanan. Abis itu karena ga enak soalnya titip tas sama Icha dan Gita, kita balik. Untung depannya Webe sama Tjong kosong. Jadi gw Tacia duduk di sana. Tadinya tuh ada bapak2 gitu. Tapi rada mencurigakan. Dia bilang sih itu tempat dia, tapi dia ga nunjukkin tiketnya juga.. Kita mau nanya juga ga enak. Tapi belakangan dia pergi, lama banget gitu gatau kemana.. Jadi yaudalah kita biarinin. Enak juga uda duduk sama yang kenal. Belakangan Hunnie juga join kita, terus rame2 ngobrol deh. Seru :D :D 

Hari Kelima -- 30 Juni 2013

Sampe malem jam 1an kira-kira, tinggal gw sama Webe yang belom tidur. Ngobrol bentar terus akhirnya mencoba buat tidur juga. Gw sih ga gitu bisa tidur, tapi si Tacia tidurnya maksimal hahahaha. Nyenyak banget diaa. Oya itu kereta kayaknya ACnya baru dibenerin. DINGIN BANGET GILAAA. Sampe akhirnya Aaron dateng dan bantu nutupin AC pake bungkusan snack. Sampe kira-kira jam 4, gw kan baru bangun dari tidur, si Bapak tadi balik. Semua lagi pada tidur tuh. Webe, Tjong, Tacia smua tidurnya nekuk ke paha, ga nempel sama senderan kursi. Gw sih lagi nutupin muka pake handuk karena dingin banget. Wiwi juga baru bangun. Dia duduk di deretan A B C situ. Dia lagi main ipad. Si Bapak itu duduk terus kayak ngeliatin tasnya si Gita yang dititip di samping Tacia. Di meja kecil situ juga lagi ditaro banyak hp yang lagi dicas. Hp sama dompet Webe juga ditaro di situ... Istilahnya tinggal dicomot doang tuh.. Gw sama Wiwi uda liat liatan penuh makna. Hahahaa. Belakangan si Webe bangun, eh si Bapak langsung cabut. Uda deh gw sama Wiwi langsung makin curiga. Sebenernya sih bisa aja itu emang tempatnya, tapi kalo emang tempatnya, ya duduk aja di situu. Jangan pindah-pindah, orang malah makin curiga dong.. Yauda akhirnya jam 5an gw tidur lagi nyender ke meja kecil. Semua Hp dan dompet uda dimasukin ke tas. Tapi itu uda rada banyak yan bangun juga sih. Morris, Ricky, sama Gio juga uda bangun di tempat belakang kita. Jadi mendingan.

Jam 6an gw bangun lagi. Lagi di samping laut, terus ada sawah... Keren banget bro..... Gw foto-foto pake hp hehe. Terus sempet tiduran lagi bentar.

Uda rada siang gitu, ACnya makin panas. Jadi kita buka. Adem lagi. Eh ga lama, ACnya beneran mati. Dimatiin kayaknya apa gimana ga ngerti. Panas banget gila jadinya. Mana gw deket jendela lagi.. Mataharinya juga lagi panas -_- gosong sebelah deh. Kata Tjong gapapalah biar berwarna dikit -_- hahaha. Setelah lamaaaaa, setelah 20 jam an perjalanan, akhirnya hampir sampe juga di Jakarta. Uda sekitar Bekasi sampe si Adri Chubby minta tripodnya yang ditaro di sebelah gw. Eh, si Webe baru ingey kalo tripodnya ketinggalan di mobil silver *ini mengapa belakangan gw lebih menyesal lagi ga minta nomernya si supir* Jadi gw nanya ke Fre karena kayaknya bb yang lain pada mati. Belakangan pas uda sampe Jakarta, si Fre baru bales. Dia bilang uda dibawain. Jadi untung deh :D

Sampe Jakarta, gw nunggu Mami jemput dari gereja. Rada serem juga sih sendirian nunggu gitu di sana. Banyak yang manggil2 -_- nawarin taksi juga deket2 gitu hiii. Terus pas jalan ke depan juga ada yang godain bilang "Panas-panasan ntar item loh.." -____________________- itu nenek2 uzur juga tau. Grr. Akhirnya gw dijemput dan pulang... Makan lalu mandi, lalu ketemu dan peluk cium Emak :"D Cerita dikit ngapain aja. Si Emak ketawa liat idung gw yang merah kebakar wkwk. Malemnya tuh gw ada ngisi Lektor di gerejaa.. Jadi gw latihan bentar terus tidur. Eh, si Evan ga bangunin, karena kayaknya dia juga gatau gw tugas. Jadi jam 6 kurang 15 gw baru bangun donggg. Gawat. Untung uda mandi segala macem. Jadi bener-bener langsung lompat dari tempat tidur dan ganti baju. Tapi suara gw ilang tiba2 D"": Gw panik dong. Gimana mau lektor kalo ga ada suara??? FYI, lektor itu yang bacain alkitab itu loh di depan. Biasanya sih ada 3 bacaan jadi ada 3 lektor. Tapi si Evan bilang udalah coba aja. Jadi gw minum yang banyak, di mobil tereak-tereak, terus di gereja gw nyanyi sambil itung-itung pemanasan wkwk. Untungnya suara keluar meski kedengeran banget lagi sakit... Haha. Khotbahnya bagus bangettt.. Gw mo minta rekamannya ah :'D Nanti gw post kalo ada kesempatan lagi :)

Pulang gereja gw ke MOI sama mami papi. Kemaren katanya ada toko yang kebakaran di MOI? Itu tadinya si bonyok mo ke MOI.. Tapi si Evan ngajakin ke Artha instead.. Wow.

Okay, so that's my journey..

Menyenangkan bangetttt. Bener-bener once in a lifetime experience ;) Goes well with my motto of life :) Jadi hunbes berikutnya ke mana nih? :D

Keys

This year, although it hasn't even reach its middle yet, has been a very tough year.
I don't know what will follow, but until now it has been rough...
I have been to 2 funerals, and have heard at least 2 more deaths--and it hasn't even June yet!
I don't feel like doing anything, except imagining things and watching too much TV, my work is little, and I am lazy. I applied to some companies for an internship position, but none really got my attention and get me excited to work. Why am I applying anyway? At first I thought it was excitement.. but then I realized it was just because I'm afraid of not getting any internship later. And that made me picky. TOO picky. This ones too far, this ones doesn't seem good, etc. And now.. this is the worst. I am letting go of my French class for tonight. Yes, I deliberately missed my french class. It was an inconvenient timing, so I just sort of let it go. Instead I watched HIMYM and went blogging.

Is this growing old?
It's almost as if my feelings are riding in a hijacked roller coaster. Yes, I don't see how that's possible, but that best describes my feelings. Sometimes I feel optimist that the hijacker will fall off, and I'm off to having a good time on that roller coaster again, but sometimes I feel that the hijacker is holding tightly.. to me and to the car. He doesn't seem like he's going to let go at anytime. I know it doesn't make any sense.. but so is my feelings! They are nonsense. I don't feel quite the same when I first took this major. I was always excited.. I was always looking forward to do tasks, even though they're not always fun. I always have this saying 'If I don't do it now, tomorrow will have another thing coming' But now? I haven't even make the background paper we should be writing 2 weeks ago. And I said to myself WHATEVER. So, what's happening to me?

I thought going to Malaysia and talking to Velia's seemingly wise friend, Bang Una, gave me light upon my passion, upon what I've been so certain to call mine. But I guess it didn't. Yesterday I found Paolo Coelho wrote this on his Twitter: "It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path" see?

That's what I told everyone when they asked me why I took what I took as my major. I said, I can't do anything else. Am I really just that? Someone said that passion is something that you cannot see yourself NOT doing. Me? I don't know. I can't see myself doing anything else, but I didn't see whether or not I can live without doing what I'm doing now. Does it even make any sense? Sometimes I feel like I need someone that understand everything that I am going through without having to explain a lot of things first. I thought talking to some psychologist might help, but it didn't. I don't know is it just her or is it everybody. And I feel like I'm closing up. I'm burying myself under. I don't know how to get out and I don't know should I get out or should I just give in. I may look alright on the outside, because I'm not that expressive on that gloomy stuff, but my head is imprisoned. And they say that the darkest prisons are the ones without keys...

Does my head have a key?

Writing

Lately I've been too caught up in things that I should do and learn, that I kinda forget that I also LOVE writing too! YES I LOVE IT! And I finally said it. I may not be a writer, but I do love writing. I write about anything, with one or mixed language as I please, I WRITE!

Okay, that outburst isn't without a reason..

This is the first week after mid-term exam and I actually kinda have nothing much to do after exams like this.

So I thought, with so much things going on, I should try to finish at least one thing. And that one thing in mind is, *drumroll* PORTFOLIO~! Yes, for those who don't know--everyone that is, in this 2-3 months I have to be able to (1) drive (2) have an internship job. Therefore, I should find a job and learn how to drive a car (properly) so that I can get to my workplace by driving, MYSELF. Yep. So, I thought I can't possibly learn to drive now, because the cars are all out with mom and dad, so why not make a portfolio? But as I scroll down every documents on my computer, I realized that I have lots of unfinished stories and a few short ones that are actually (kinda) finished. Out of curiosity, I opened one of them and start reading. And I thought that I am kinda good. Well, at least for my taste. HAHA. So.. That inspires me and reminds me that despite all the chaos in this world--my world, I still have one fast getaway car. My diary, my computer, or my blog. I know nobody's reading it, but so what? The last thing I need is to be judge :p although it is intriguing to find out what people would think of my writing ;p

Well..

Wish me luck in life :)

Funeral / Future

I've been thinking awfully too much lately..

Today as I was watching the telly, dad came in and asked me whether or not I want to come with him to a funeral. I asked him who died and he said that it was the father of who used to be my sunday school teacher. I said I don't know.. and ended up staying at home anyway.

I don't know what it is about funeral.. It's not because it's sad, mostly, I think.

It's more because I really have no idea how to behave in funerals. Especially in front of the loved ones, like the family or dear friends who got left behind. How do you expect me to do? And that's not retorical.. I really ask because I don't know. Would rather see me crying my eyes out--which is almost impossible unless I, at least, know the person--or sit quietly on the corner, or perhaps be bubbly, be as bright as the sunshine--stating that "HEY YOU KNOW WHAT, LIFE GOES ON BITCH, YOU'RE MISSING IT! HA!" I just don't know... I mean, we all know in wedding we're suppose to have fun, eat, chatting around, mingling, etc.. Babyshowers, birthdays, engagement parties, charity parties, concert... (starting to get out of line here) But FUNERAL? I have become the family or the loved ones that's being left behind. Twice, I think. Should be thrice, but the last one's kinda.... weirdly sad/not. So.. Anyways, it was only when my grandpas passed away. One was in 1998, the other perhaps in 2002(?) I'm not sure. And since I was very little then, I have no idea what's going on. I remember knowing that they died, but to understand something so complicated is.. different. Right?

And I'm not expecting--or hoping! to have to be the host of some funeral now.. I don't want to have to feel it myself. I wish people would just tell me what they want to see and what they want people to do when someone close to them died.. 

All these thinking about funeral and deaths really brings me back to this topic *drumroll*

F U T U R E

TADAHH~!

Yeah, I hate that word.

What am I going to do as soon as I graduate? Work? More school? Aboard?

Where will the money come from? Say the money's available, will I be brave enough? Say I decided to braven myself, will I last? Say I last, what will I do AFTER coming back to my own country? Work? What kind of work? Will I be what I've always envisioned myself to be? Will I have my own family? Do I even want to have my own family? What will I do when I'm on my deathbed and thinking 'Dammit I haven't even seen the world yet' or 'Damn I should've gone to Paris instead' or 'Darn I haven't even touched a snowflake!' WHAT WOULD I DO? WHAT WILL I BECOME? And the most important thing is, and the scariest one, will I lower my standard, and accept who I am even though its not what I envisioned it to be JUST because I'm scared that if I don't, I won't be happy? Yeah, it's a long sentence and probably very confusing to read. But... 

Dammit.

Maybe I need a shrink after all..

Speaking to myself probably don't bring any good... it's just sometimes I do find some answers.. Yes, from within. But I think this is something that requires a little more comprehension and stuff.

Whatever.

Douchebag and Foolish

My friend talked about 'love is a choice', lately..
She said that we have to be smart enough to choose who to fall for, and I couldn't agree more.
Why else would people stay single for a long time? Simply because we haven't found the right person yet, right? Or.. is it? How would we know it's the right person if we haven't try?

Yes, we humans make lots of choices over our lifetime..
There are the right ones and the wrong and bad ones.
How do we tell them apart before we take our choice?
See, I think a lot--although might not seem so, and I do get distracted a lot, so most of my thinking just goes into the black hole inside of my head--and I observe. When I may not be able to observe a lot of people, I observe myself. Sure it is hard to be objective, but I observing does give me a lot to think about, to pay attention to. So what I've got from observing..
There's absolutely no way to tell them apart.
You just choose what you believe, and deal with it. How you deal with it, THAT'S determined whether it's a good or bad choice. But before? I don't think there's anyway to tell...

See, we're humans, are a very complicated beings. One of the things that I keep saying that we aren't born satisfied. When we're on school, we wish for holiday, when we're on holiday, otherwise. We're also very curious, risks-taking, and sometimes foolish--but not knowing it until it is, sadly, too late. When we're faced with 2 options and we HAVE to choose ONE, we'll choose it, alright. But we'll spend, if not little, our own entire life wondering what would it be if we took the other. 

Of course we could try to make a list of the positives and the negatives of taking each options, but what would your heart say? *smirk*

We're a complicated beings because, IMHO, we have more than one guidance throughout our life. Animals have instinct. They know when they're hungry, who's nice, who's to love and why (the reason usually simple--because he is my master, like Dug in Up), what to do in danger, and all of those things they do, are based on instincts. Animals don't have what we have, "DOUCHEBAG" brain and "FOOLISH" heart. I'm calling our brain douchebag is because, most of the time, it is. Feeling snobby, know-it-all, trying to figure shits out with logic. Logic! And our foolish heart that simply won't stop saying the exact opposite of our douchebag brain... Why can't the two just get along? Besides, hearts are foolish because it is simply too easy to fool! The brain's too smart for that, but then again, logic? Heart knows no logic! So there you go.. War inside of your system.. 

Well, talking about this, I simply can't write a great closure, heck, even just a closure is hard to make when the topic's as silly. Because apparently, hearts can be wrong to, you know. Why? Because it doesn't have brain.

Sorry if it's not funny :p

The Somewhats

somewhat sweet
somewhat lovely

never met one like this
not the usual, is all i can say
people say when one's in love
all the love songs start making sense
so why only the painfuls?

somewhat painful

is it because we're on a different boat
is it because we're not suppose to be
the somewhats we wouldn't know

someone else was made for you
someplace else would i find mine
sometime later when we're no longer

because somehow
we wouldn't be forever

Life

So, how long ago was it? God it feels like FOREVER since I last wrote anything here.

And as assumed, there's so many things happening since then.

So, let me check what date was it first..

OH, okay. January 5th. Then I have A LOT to tell.

So I was telling you guys about how boring and lame my holiday was going to be, but guess what, I actually went on a sudden vacation with Silvie to Kuala Lumpur and Melacca. I think we went on February 1st, it was Friday. And so we stay at Velia's place and had a great--but also tiring--experience. We even got scammed by a taxi driver once. So... yeah.

Anyway, it was a great story but also very long. I'll probably ask Cip later to just remind me of all the stuff that we did--AND BOUGHT! Also we got lost in Melacca -_-" Actually that is a very good title for a book. Or a movie. Or a song. Whatever. It's a multipurpose title (?).

Then.. let's see.

We went back home to Jakarta on 6th. Then Chinese New Year's Eve came up at 9th, followed by the CNY itself on 10th, also followed by starting of my 6th semester. This semester I got a day off on Monday. So when people say that they hate Monday, I'M LOVIN' IT--well, for now. So eventhough technically class started at 11th, I started at 12th. Well, then Valentine's Day--nothing's there, carry on--then.. I tried to apply for a class assistant position again like I did before in 5th semester. But this time, it seems like all of my classmates also wanted to apply --" After a struggling, minimum though, I got the gig. It was to assist a Computer Graphic 2 class, learning Photoshop. Actually I chose the subject, and asked the lecturer if he/she would need an assistant for their class. On the 5th semester, I used to assist for Computer Graphic 1 and Typography 1 class. But this time, there's a twist. The lecturer is a foreigner. I don't know his nationality but he is, I think, a Mexican? Or Spanish? Or Latino? Haha whatever. 

Then....

University life and class goes as usual. Nothing much happening.

Then...

My ex-economic teacher who's also my homeroom teacher on 12th grade, passed away due to cancer. Me and Rena went to her funeral. Lovely and sad :') But she is in a better place now. RIP Madam Evangelina Hutabarat :')

Then...

Mandy finally got her recital ready and we (me, Jovi, Kaka) went to UPH to watch her! It was amazing! Me and Kaka spent a night crashing at Jovi's. I crashed on the couch :p It was a good couch. So, a few things went out of hand, but I got myself a fine camera shaped ring, and a fine yellow wallet from Les Femmes in Supermall Karawaci.

Then...

My French class is still going on.

And officially since last Monday (2 days ago), I am in level A2.2 :D

With the score of 91 on level A2.1 :')

This time, though, my professeur said that we need to learn harder things.. urgh.

I hope I don't suck and I hope I can speak French ASAP! :D

Then...

Those little things that happened. Funny classmates, funny things, even tragedies--the funny ones!

AND THE LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT THE LEAST

There's this book I happen to buy at February 23rd, when I went to MKG with Rena, Cip, Laura.

It is titled

"The Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out Of The Window and Disappeared."

Yes, it is that long.

By Jonas Jonasson.

A swedish ex-journalist and now a writer--and recently my favourite!

It really is the finest book I have ever read.. EVER!!

EVERRR!!

And out of curiosity, I searched for Mr Jonasson on Facebook and found him. I wrote to him on his fanpage about how awesome he is and that I am from Indonesia. And he replied my comment :D He is now officially among the lists of famous people who have talked to me--indirectly :p

The first is Aldis Hodge when he wishes me happy birthday on Twitter because I asked him to :"D

But still that's very sweet of him :)

Then.. 

Just yesterday I got this lovely--elderly--couple visiting my grandma.

They are lovely but somehow I get the feeling that they are trying to set me up with someone -_-"

Most likely their grandson but they didn't let it slip. They told me to visit them sometimes, bring along Mom and Dad and Gran. Hm. Suspicious. LOL. Nahh, they're probably just being friendly, although I think the Wife seemed to be very fond of me. She even kissed me goodbye when she left, and we just met, like 1,5 hours ago?

So..

That might sum up everything. There are some details and events but whatever :p

Sucks Holiday is Sucks

This holidays sucks!
Partly because I don't get to go anywhere I want..
And those claiming that 'we' would have a good time by just going somewhere nearby, doesn't actually live up to their promise. So, whatever, right?
But mostly because I have absolutely nothing to do.
This, is by far, the most useful thing I have ever done on this still-long holiday.
Okay maybe not the most, but one of the most--or mosts? Is that even a word..?

Anyway,
Of course there's my French class that's keeping me sane, and keeping my day-awareness* on..
*day-awareness: aware of what day it is, not aware of dates and times, though.
And I can tell you, no game is too interesting to play, so I ended up just watching murders on Fox and FoxCrime, such as reruns of Monk, Criminal Minds, Bones.. I even got to watch Medium, finally. Not that I watch them in order though. It just sort of passed, so I watched it. The more amusing show is probably Family Guy and The Simpsons.. Lately I've been trying to catch up with The Cleveland Show and American Dad too but I guess FG and Simpsons are quite enough. Then, when TV isn't reliable, I turned to DVDs. I have finally watched Ted, Paranorman, Batman, MIB, and just before, I tried to give Bourne a chance, this time it's Bourne Legacy, I thought hey it's not the same person, so why not give it a shot. But it really just fail me.. I stopped watching after the first 10 minutes.. Yeah I'm not a Bourne fan... Then I put on Skyfall, but something came up and I ended it.. By something I mean Burger King. HA!

So yeah, that pretty much sums up my lame holiday..